Alex and I have always dreamed of having a family. When we fell in love 9 years ago, we could already picture our sweet babies in our arms. We would talk about what our house would look like, what our kids would look like, and imagine our little family growing and expanding over the years.
Five years ago, we were ready to start having those long-dreamed-of babies. Unfortunately, our first two pregnancies ended in losses and we were devastated. We sought help to see if there was anything wrong, but everything seemed to check out. We had no idea then that this would be the start of a long and gut-wrenchingly difficult fertility journey. In fact, it was over a year before we were even able to conceive again, but that pregnancy also ended too early.
After an IVF round in Jan 2018 resulted in two embryos, we felt like we had a little glimmer of hope. We decided to try a medicated cycle first, hoping that might work to get us pregnant before having to use our embryos.
It did! We got pregnant again and everything seemed to progress perfectly. My HCG levels rose exactly as they should, and I had all the normal pregnancy symptoms, but at our final 10-week appointment with our fertility doctor (we had our first midwife appointment booked for later that day) the ultrasound tech couldn’t find a heartbeat. Needless to say, we were devastated.
It took us months to be able to even fathom trying again.
Since that day, we’ve had one failed pregnancy, another round of IVF, and one unsuccessful embryo transfer just a few weeks ago.
If we want to attempt one more embryo transfer without a surrogate, we would have to do another round or two of IVF. IVF alone costs upwards of $20,000 per round. In addition, we need to undergo further testing before we can attempt another transfer, which is also quite expensive ($4000+).
Our dreams to have our little embryos grow into babies is 100% leaning on our ability to pay for these treatments and, likely, surrogacy. The cost of surrogacy in Canada can run between $70-$100,000+. This is a lot for any scenario, but we also don’t know how we can stop our journey after coming this far.
So, here we are, uncomfortable with the notion of having to ask our friends and family to help support our dreams and yet also knowing that this is our only hope.
We have been through too much to quit without at least trying everything we can to have the family we’ve always dreamed of. We know it takes a village to raise a baby, but we’re hoping beyond all hope that in our case, our village comes together to help us have a baby.
2020 has been a struggle for many of us, though we hope that you can find it in your hearts to help us with our pre-baby baby shower. Please consider helping us grow our family. Your contribution will mean the whole world to us.
Thank you. From the bottom of our hearts.
Alex and Alex
P.S. You can follow @rockabyemaybe on Instagram and can listen to Alexandra's song 'Clocks are Ticking Slow' that she wrote about our experience with recurrent pregnancy loss. Clocks are Ticking Slow
P.P.S. We would be so very thankful if you would share our fundraiser with your friends and family to help us make our dream of a family a reality.
- Brooke Dao
- Caroline Shreve
- Paul Starr
Fundraising team (3)
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